We���re taught that family is where we should feel most loved and supported. But when parents clearly favour one child, it can leave the others feeling like they���ll never measure up.

We asked five Nigerians what it was like growing up in the shadow of a sibling who always seemed to come first. From watching parents make exceptions for a ���golden child��� to being expected to raise younger siblings, these are their stories of resentment, jealousy and the hurt of feeling unchosen.

���I���ve always lived in my brother���s shadows��� ��� Tomi, 23, M

I hate my brother. Not because he���s done anything wrong. He���s actually really sweet. I just can���t stop resenting him for being the child my parents seem to prefer.

He���s smarter and better at almost everything. He wrote JAMB once and got in. I wrote twice and never heard the end of it. He was always first or second in class, while I hovered around fourth or fifth and became the ���dumb��� one.

Eventually, my parents stopped expecting much from me. It looks like freedom from the outside, but it hurts because I wanted their approval.

Now they���re planning to send my brother to Canada. When I asked what they had planned for me, they asked what I was going to do there.

Sometimes, I catch myself praying that his visa gets rejected. I even want to ruin it for him. I know how terrible that sounds, but I���m tired of always feeling like the second choice.

���I watched my brother live the life I couldn���t have��� ��� Abdul, 26, M

There���s no doubt my brother is the favourite child. I tried to accept it because I thought favouritism was normal in every family. Then my father showed me exactly how different the rules were for us.

I once told him I wanted to attend an Army school. He immediately said no. It was too expensive, and he had plenty of reasons why it wouldn���t work.

Two months later, my brother said he wanted to attend the same kind of school. Suddenly, my father was doing everything he could to make it happen. Money wasn���t a problem anymore.

My sister was angry for me, too. When I confronted my parents, they said I was being dramatic and that they simply didn���t have the money when I asked.

I remember wishing my brother would come to harm there so they���d have to live with the pain forever. I hate that I ever thought that way, but that was how angry I was.

���My mother taught him entitlement and called it being a man��� ��� Temi, 28, F

My mother is incredibly male-centred, and growing up with my younger brother made that impossible to ignore.

He could do almost anything and get away with it, while I had to follow strict rules. If he misbehaved and I disciplined him, I was the one who got punished. Eventually, I stopped trying to correct him and left him to my mother. 

She made excuses for everything. He could curse at me and speak to me however he wanted, but the moment I responded, she���d remind me, ���He���s a man. That���s how they are.��� 

She washed his clothes, cooked for him, and served him. For me, it was always, ���It���s in the kitchen.��� 

He���s grown into an entitled, inconsiderate person, and I hate that my mother helped create him. Sometimes, when my phone rings, I secretly hope it���s the call telling me his actions have finally caught up with him.

���I resented her for a love she never asked for��� ��� Joy, 25, F

My sister and I were never close, and growing up, it always felt like we were competing for our parents��� love.

She was the easier child. She got along with my parents, made better decisions, and somehow always knew exactly what they wanted from her. I was the difficult one; always asking questions and getting corrected. The worst part was watching my parents celebrate things about her that they barely noticed in me. 

Eventually, I stopped trying to impress them. Instead,  I started resenting my sister for being everything they seemed to want, even though she never asked to be. 

I prayed she would fail just so my parents would see she wasn���t perfect. But sometimes I wonder if we could have been closer if we weren���t raised to feel like there was only room for one of us.

���I was born their sister, but raised to be their mother��� ��� Faith, 19, F

Try having five brothers and being the only girl. You���d think I���d be the most pampered one, but it���s the complete opposite. 

I���m the fourth of six children, yet I���m expected to play mother because I���m a girl. My mother says she handled all the boys before me, so now it���s my turn. 

As far back as I can remember, I���ve been in the kitchen serving my brothers and cleaning up after them, including the younger ones.

My breaking point came when my younger brother asked, condescendingly, why I hadn���t cooked yet. I slapped him, and somehow I was the one who got scolded for not cooking while on my period.

Sometimes, I hope they grow up completely helpless just so my mother has to deal with what she created.

 *Names have been changed to protect the identity of the subjects.

Nigeria didn’t get its independence because a few people asked nicely in 1960. People protested, mobilised striking workers, and maintained pressure when votes and hope were lost. And now, 66 years later, as we remember the day by taking children to the parade ground, watching the national proceedings on television, or relaxing at home for the much���needed public holiday, we helped you do the homework by listing out some not-so-popular people who were instrumental to Nigeria���s independence.��

Here are four key figures that we may not necessarily associate with independence:

Hajia Gambo Sawaba

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Some people may know her as the most jailed female politician of all time. But Hajia Gambo Sawaba���s story started long before her prison visits. In 1933, when Sawaba was born, the British colonialists governed Nigeria with an , where subsidiary governments would implement the colonial policies on a local level. 

In Zaria, where Sawaba lived at the time, the was the native authority at the time, implementing British rule in Northern Nigeria. So when Malam Aminu Kano created the Northern Elements Progressive Union (NEPU), with a philosophy centred on women���s rights and education, Sawaba signed up at 17.

As the leader of the national women’s wing of NEPU, Sawaba maintained pressure on the colonial-backed government of the time. She was a key figure in the NEPU establishment that defied British authority and its local allies, even though she faced a lot of abuse, intimidation, and imprisonment along the way. She would often have her head shaved and was once , and she often faced torture in detention.

She died in 2001 from a protracted illness at the age of 71. Leaving a legacy of pioneering women���s welfare and political self-determination.

Michael Imoudu

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Michael Imoudu was a champion of labour unions at a time in Nigeria when these unions were not the vibe. Imoudu was born in 1902 in Edo State, and after losing his parents at the age of 20, he started work in the railways as a linesman. 

He joined the Railway Workers Union (RWU), which marked the beginning of his labour union activities. He became the union president in 1939, and in 1941, he started demanding that the colonial government to improve workers’ working conditions. Much of his work in the following years helped lead to the 1945 General Strike from the railway union, which lasted 45 days and drew in tens of thousands of workers, starting with the railways and spreading to other public services.

show that this strike and other union activities created a sense of a shared national experience through nationwide action that cut across ethnicities and regions, placing further pressure on the colonial government at the time. 

In 1946, Imoudu was nominated to the executive council of the National Council of Nigeria and the Cameroons (NCNC), a nationalist party founded by Herbert to fight British imperialism and achieve self���government. In this position, he continued to lead the trade and labour union fronts that challenged the working conditions and systems imposed by British rule.

He passed away in 2005, at 102, in Oro, Kwara State, long retired from labour unions.

Remi Fani-Kayode

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Chief Remi Fani-Kayode was a lawyer and a nationalist politician who was elected the deputy premier of the Western Region of Nigeria in 1963. Fani-Kayode notably moved the motion for Nigeria’s independence in the Federal House of Assembly. 

But even before this, Chief Remi Fani-Kayode was heavily involved in advocacy. In 1954, he was appointed the youth wing leader of the Action Group political party and served as the assistant federal secretary. 

In his time with the Action Group, Fani-Kayode represented ethnic minorities in the Willink Commission of 1957,  a commission set up to address the concerns of ethnic minorities in Northern Nigeria. His time with the Action Group youth wing was also characterised by vibrant and active movements against British rule. He and his comrades would wear black shirts and use the mosquito emblem, which was meant to express their opposition to British colonial rule. He was even detained for it at some point. 

He passed away in Brighton, England, from natural causes at the age of 73.

Margaret Ekpo

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Margaret Ekpo can be regarded as a fierce mobilizer. She was an activist and politician who rallied women across the country to champion their interests. Ekpo was born in 1914 in Cross River State. She stopped her education at primary six after she lost her father in 1934, then went on to become a pupil-teacher.

Her first involvement in politics came when she represented her husband at meetings discussing the indiscriminate practices of the colonial leadership. Soon enough, she was mobilising market women into unions to push for women���s economic rights and the political rights of low- to middle-class Nigerians. 

Ekpo was a key delegate at the 1953 London Constitutional Conference, which introduced federalism and granted regional autonomy to Nigeria. This conference and others were . From 1958, she became increasingly , with a particular focus on women and their role in the struggle for independence. These actions and initiatives were key in the background leading up to the constitutional reforms and political negotiations that secured Nigerian independence.

She passed away at 92 from natural causes at the University of Calabar Teaching Hospital. 

At the end of the day���

The interesting thing about these stories is that, on paper, their contributions to independence are less celebrated or documented than those of the Awolowos and Azikiwes. Yet, Independence Day did not arrive in a single speech, political rally, or visit to London.

It was assembled from 45-day strikes, women���s protests in Aba, and a handful of people who wrestled their way into rooms where the future was being written. Not all of them appear on our Naira notes, but all of them are part of the reason there is even a country to celebrate on October 1. 

Let’s start with the numbers. According to the World Health Organisation (WHO), conflict and insecurity have displaced over 3.2 million people, many of whom are facing . According to the Nigerian Medical Association (NMA), Nigeria has to cater to a population of over 200 million people. In 2022, more than 16,500 people in Borno State , and roughly 176,000 people got psychosocial support. Yet, most of it was funded by Non-governmental Organisations (NGO) and donors, and it barely scratched the surface given the number of displaced and disadvantaged people in Borno and Nigeria as a whole.

To cap it off, the WHO Africa Regional Office says that . Essentially, dealing with mental health challenges is difficult, but dealing with those challenges in Nigeria? Yikes.

Why does this matter?

To start with, Nigeria can be regarded as a country of particular concern when it comes to mental health. We rank 106th out of 147 countries globally in the , a decline from 105th in 2025 and 102nd in 2024. We have a face-me-I-slap-you standard of living, ranking last globally in the . And if trends in insecurity, cost of living, and healthcare are anything to go by, it could get even worse. 

Mental health in a country like this should be very much a matter of great concern. 

But it is not. We���re dealing with diagnosis gaps, manpower shortages, funding limitations, and a lack of the right legal frameworks.

For suicide awareness, this means that people in crisis are not met with a functioning system that can cater to their needs. But from a system perspective, it matters as well, because it undermines our economic output, it can shape the health and livelihoods of generations to come, and it falls on the young bulk of Nigeria���s population, who could go on to manifest in the form of academic stress, unemployment, substance use, and exposure to violence.

The Big Daily is your weekday shortcut to the biggest news shaping Nigeria. We cut through the noise, connect the dots, and explain why the news actually matters, all in one quick read.

What is the way forward?

There are some positives for Nigeria���s mental health culture and capabilities. The was signed into law in 2023, replacing the outdated colonial-era with a mental health framework that is more grounded in human rights and empathy. But it did not decriminalise suicide. In August 2026, the Federal Executive Council (FEC) approved a proposed amendment to the National Mental Health Act that would remove the criminalisation of suicide. It is still pending; we await it. But for now, suicide is still criminalised in Nigeria.

The for the Federal Ministry of Health calls for suicide to be declared a national public health priority, which will involve integrating mental health into primary care, establishing a governance structure, and promoting responsible media reporting of suicide. 

And of course, private and NGO support continues to grow to meet the excess demand, with WHO and organisations like providing intervention, services, and helplines.

Yet, there is still so much to be done and a lot of it boils down to governance. Changing a law that says “we won’t punish you” is not the same as creating a system that says “let us help you.” 

More of the health budget should be allocated for mental health, more primary health centres should incorporate mental health care, more professional training pathways should be introduced, and more data should be established for national suicide and mental health surveillance.

Yes, the government can affect your mental health. Either by the problems they create or the lack of solutions for the mental effects of these problems. For most Nigerians, this effect can cause problems for our well-being, loss of livelihoods, and, sadly enough, suicide.

These six Nigerians have been there, and they confess some of the wildest things they���ve done to a roommate���s belongings out of spite.

 ���I used her white dress as a rag��� ��� Sandra*, F, 28

I met Chidera* in Uni, and we lived together for two years. During our first year, I kept my distance, and we got along fine. Things changed after my mother suggested befriending her so we could look out for each other. Then she started touching my things.

Once, she used my lotion and left it open. Another time, she used my shirt as a rag. When I confronted her, she laughed and said she didn���t know I still wore it. After she used my skirt to make a pillowcase, I decided I���d had enough. 

One day, I cooked with firewood even though we had gas. When I was done, I used her white dress to take the pot off the fire. She was furious. I told her I didn���t know it was hers, then laughed in her face. She stopped touching my things and eventually moved out. My only regret is not using the dress to wipe palm oil.

���I put holes in his condoms��� ��� Wale*, M, 24

My roommate and I lived together for a year, and he had a habit of crossing boundaries. One day, I came home to find semen on the bed. He and his girlfriend had also eaten all the food I���d cooked. I was angry and wanted to get back at him, so I used needles to put holes in his condoms. He clearly didn���t consider my feelings, so it felt like a fair trade. I don���t know if it was related, but his girlfriend later got pregnant, but they didn���t keep it. He never found out, and I have zero regrets. We���re cool now, so I wouldn���t do it again.

���I dipped her toothbrush in the toilet��� ��� Kemi*, F,  20

My roommate and I have lived together for two years. One time, we had an argument, and she insulted me and called me horrible names. I was angry and wanted to retaliate, so I dipped her toothbrush in the toilet and put it back where I found it. She used it afterwards without knowing what I���d done.

Looking back, I think she deserved it. However, I wouldn���t do it again. 

���I put his dirty plates at the door��� ��� Michael*, M, 32

When I was in Uni, I lived with a roommate for two years. He was very dirty and would abandon his plates in the kitchen for days. The funny thing was that he always looked spotless when he went outside.

Whenever his friends visited, he���d hide his dirty pots and plates. After a while, I got tired of looking at them, so one day, when he wasn���t around, I moved all his dirty plates to the front door.

When he returned and saw them, the horrified look on his face was very satisfactory. You���d think that would have taught him a lesson, but he left the plates there. He eventually washed them two days later after the porter threatened to throw them away.

���I ate the last food she had for the day��� ��� Ore*, F,  29

My roommate and I have lived together for four years. Once, she used my foodstuff without asking, so I decided to get back at her by eating the last portion of rice she had cooked. When she found out, she was furious. It was the only food she had available, and she was looking forward to eating it. 

I felt disappointed in myself afterwards, but I think she deserved it because she did the same thing to me. I wouldn���t do it again, though.

 ���I moved his dirty plates to his bed��� ��� Ubong*, M,  27

When I was in 300L, I shared a room with someone I���m no longer friends with. He ate my food, used my foodstuff and hid his own provisions. He always claimed he was broke and couldn���t contribute, but somehow, he had money to go out drinking with his friends. He also used to leave his dirty plates in the sink. 

One evening, he went out and forgot to lock his box. I went through it and found some provisions like cornflakes, milk and other things. I ate the cornflakes and milk, then put the dirty plates he���d refused to wash on his bed. When he returned and saw what I���d done, we fought. The neighbours intervened, and he eventually moved out after a month. 

Read Also: 6 Nigerians Share How Their Parents Still Support Them Financially as Adults

On September 11, 2026, Kauna, a student nurse in Gamji, Sokoto, noticed her TikTok app wouldn���t open. She uninstalled and reinstalled it, but it got worse because she could no longer log back in. She checked in with her friend, who also lives in the same area; the same thing happened – TikTok just seemed to be taking forever to load. 

Kauna’s experience mirrors recent social media discussions on how TikTok is being restricted in some northern Nigerian states. Users in Kaduna, Kano, and Sokoto have struggled to use TikTok, with varying accounts of when it was first noticed, causing many to download Virtual Private Networks (VPNs) to access the app. Initial described feeds freezing mid-scroll, videos failing to load, and uploads stalling on regular mobile data. But in these cases, access is being restored almost immediately once people switch on VPNs.

So what exactly is happening with TikTok in these northern states? Here���s what we know so far.

There has been no official statement

As of September 23, 2026, there has been no official statement from Nigerian regulators, telecom operators, the National Communications Commission (NCC), the federal government, or state governments in these states. acknowledging any restriction. So there is no official lead as to whether it is a technical fault, a network configuration issue, a traffic-management measure or a deliberate block. 

Raised eyebrows about government censorship

Given that the shutdown is not nationwide, and TikTok is not experiencing a general outage, much of the speculation on social media has been centred on government interference in these states.

Kauna, for example, stated that most people in Sokoto, across all classes, had used TikTok fervently as a source of information, news, and entertainment. She said that the nature of free and decentralised information within the app was likely targeted for censorship, particularly citing the case of allegations surrounding Senator Shehu Buba Umar of Bauchi South and his links with armed terrorist groups.

So what this means for Kauna and millions of Nigerians in these states is that access to such a key part of the social media experience is abruptly disrupted. In Kano alone, for example, there is a who are shaping a niche industry, and these kinds of users and communities are being denied a basic right to information and entertainment. 

But even further, the speculation seems to still be brewing, especially with the 2027 elections approaching. No statements, announcements, or grounds for anything to be challenged. So maybe it’s a glitch, maybe it’s some sort of weird regional routing issue, or maybe it is, indeed, censorship. Whatever the reason is, the silence is speaking volumes.

We asked these Nigerians to share the moments they realised their fathers were jealous of them. From fathers who saw their children’s success as a threat to those who turned every achievement into a competition, these are their stories.

“My father thought I was taking his place” ��� Tayo, 27, M

My father had a good-paying job until his employer laid him off. Everything changed after that. My mother was equally unemployed because he insisted on being the provider, so when he lost his job, �� we started living on scraps.��

Thankfully, I found a well-paying online job and started contributing to the family. I�� bought food, paid bills, helped my mother start the clothing business she’d always wanted, supported my father when I could, and even helped my brother find work.

Then my father called a family meeting and demanded that I quit my job. He said he was still the man of the house and, while he was alive, no one would do his job for him. When I refused, he stopped speaking to me, refused food, and eventually told me to leave our home.��

“My dad couldn’t stand my mum’s affection for me”��� Somto, 24, M

My dad and mum fought a lot when I was growing up. He’d raise his voice, and before you knew it, my mother had already tied her wrapper, ready for anything. Whenever they fought, she made food only for herself and me. Eventually, my dad started making their fights about me. He couldn’t stand that even when my mum was angry with him, she still cared for me. He started calling me “mummy’s boy” whenever he could.��

My mum never told us anything about their fights or said a word against him. But I wasn’t blind. I noticed how jealous he became of the affection she showed me, especially when he wasn’t getting any himself. Even after they reconciled, his disdain for me remained.

“My father hated that I always found a way around his obstacles”��� Bukky, 31, F

I’d heard of mothers being jealous of their daughters, but I’d never heard of a father being jealous of his own child until it happened to me. My father had a hard life, so I thought he’d want me to have an easier one. Instead, he hated that I could adapt and make a way around problems he put in front of me.��

He sent me ���5k a month for school, and always reminded me that he received less in his time. When I got a caf辿 job and started writing, he disliked that too. He refused to buy us a washing machine because he never had one. I simply started using dry cleaners. I always found a way, and he hated that I wasn’t struggling the way he had at my age. One day, he admitted that he hated how I kept overcoming every obstacle he created.

“My father slut-shamed me for keeping our family afloat”��� Zee, 27, F��

My father is a strict police officer. One day, after an argument with my mum, he travelled without leaving money or foodstuff for the family.��

I had a good job, but I’d never told my parents my salary. I told my father I earned ���30k even though I earned over ���250k. When he left, my mother panicked about how she’d take care of my siblings, so I stepped in. Two months later, my father returned and was shocked by how well we were doing. I’ve even fixed a few things around the house. When he discovered I was responsible, his expression changed. He began calling me a prostitute and questioning where I got money. It felt like jealousy because his family no longer depended on him.

“My dad turned my wins into a competition”��� Chidi, 23, M

I love my father, but he has a habit of jealousy. Once, he took me to a bar, and the woman serving us was smitten with me. She kept calling me a “”ine boy”” and even gave me extra nkwobi for free. When she refused to give my father any, he went quiet for almost the entire night; it was clear he was angry.��

Another time, he was arguing with two friends, and I pointed out that they were wrong and backed it up with facts. His friends praised me, but afterwards, my dad said that I was trying to prove I was smarter than him. Eventually, it became a pattern. Whenever I did something well, he found a way to turn it into a competition.

“He couldn’t understand why I could show up for everyone else, but not for him”��� Njideka, 37, F��

My father left when I was young and started another family. Years later, he came back expecting me to welcome him with open arms and take care of him because I was his daughter. The thing is, I’d spent years learning how to care for everyone without him. I helped my mother, supported my siblings, showed up for friends and even went out of my way for people who he knew.��

But when he asked me for the same care, I refused. He became bitter whenever he saw me helping someone else. He’d rant about how I thought I was bigger than him, and remind me that he was once where I was before. He’d say things like, “Our money will finish.” I think what hurt him most was knowing I was capable of being generous, just not to him.

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Shade and Razaq Okoya ��� 37-year gap

Businessman Razaq Okoya and his wife, Shade, have a 37-year age gap. They got married in 1991 when she was 21 and he was 59. They’ve built a successful business together and remain one of Nigeria’s most recognisable high-profile couples.

Beauty Queen Mitchel Ihezue and Prince Nicholas Ukachukwu ��� 30-year gap

Former beauty queen Mitchel Ihezue and her husband, Prince Nicholas Ukachukwu, have a 30-year age gap. Their relationship has also sparked conversations about age, marriage and what makes a partnership work.

Richard Mofe-Damijo (RMD) and Jumobi Adegbesan ��� 11-year gap

Veteran actor RMD is 11 years older than his wife, Jumobi Adegbesan. The couple has been married for 25 years, making them one of the enduring relationships in Nigeria’s entertainment industry.

Omotola Jalade-Ekeinde and Captain Matthew Ekeinde ��� 10-year gap

Actress Omotola Jalade-Ekeinde and her husband, Captain Matthew Ekeinde, have been married since 1996 and have a 10-year age gap. They tied the knot when she was 18 and he was 28. 

Peter and Lola Okoye ��� 9-year gap

Singer Peter Okoye and his wife, Lola Omotayo, have a nine-year age gap, with Lola being older. The couple have been married since 2013.

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Tonia is a businesswoman, a safety and first-aid officer at an oil-servicing company, and a passionate Nigerian citizen. In March 2023, during the state governorship elections, this passion was put on centre stage when police officers invaded her polling unit to hijack ballot boxes. Tonia caught the entire event on camera. This is Tonia���s story, as told to Tezor Dedam.

It all started in March 2023, at the polling unit situated at Holy Family Catholic Church, Woji, Port Harcourt, during the governorship election. On that fateful day, we had all cast our votes, and it was time for counting. Suddenly, we saw a Hilux and a Sienna pull up, driving quickly right into the compound and parking directly in front of us.

At the time, we were already hearing reports that other polling units were being attacked by unknown people, so seeing them appear out of nowhere made evryone tensed. Some people stood far away, and some were close by. I was among those who stood around. Their arrival was abrupt, but I noticed the workers (INEC officials) did not run; they stood their ground.

That was when I immediately turned on my video and started recording. I just held my phone close to my chest, so no one would really know that I was making a video. In that moment, one of the men who had arrived then started instructing them,

���Carry the box!���

���They should take everything and move, take it into the car!���

Then people started to lightly protest, asking ���Where are you taking our boxes to?���

Throughout all of this, I was still recording. One of the police men then walked past me and noticed I was making a video. He walked past the first time, then he walked past again and grabbed my phone.

Meanwhile, I could see that the Sienna was still parked there, filled with young men who didnt look like police officers but had come with them. After the officer grabbed my phone, I started shouting, ���Give me my phone, give me my phone!��� I followed them and kept shouting.��

When people saw that I was unafraid and making a stand, they joined in: ���Give her her phone!��� I think that overwhelmed the officer; he didn���t see that coming. And God so kind, the video was still on, and I then dragged my phone from him. 

He entered the vehicle with the polling boxes and one of the men from the accompanying Sienna came from behind and pointed at me, saying, ���You, I will kill you���. He repeated this a few more times. He then got into the Sienna as they drove off with the police.

I remember saying to myself that I had their plate number. And that was how they left with their boxes. Fortunately, people started coming back to ask for the video and sharing it on social media. Over the next few days, I had gotten calls and messages from people saying that they had seen my video and heard my voice. I started seeing it get reposted on major channels and on media stories, that was pretty much how that unfortunate incident made me go viral.

In 2008, Collins moved to Malaysia at 19 years old. For the next 12 years, he lived in Malaysia, the Maldives, and Singapore. For most of his stay in Asia, his girlfriend���s father���s company had been sponsoring his visa. In 2020, he returned to visit his family in Port Harcourt. During this time, he had a fallout with his girlfriend, and over the next few weeks, she had his visa cancelled.

Later that year, he made a friend through his younger brother. This friend, a travel agent, had assured Collins that he could help him get a job in Europe, since the agent had lived and worked in Cyprus.

���I trusted him, and I gave him ���2 million to get me a job���

A month later, the agent called Collins with news of a job in Norway. He sent the job agreement, which Collins took to Abuja to further the process. At the end of this process, he spent an additional total of ���4.38 million on biometrics, authentication of results, verification of bank statements, work permits, domestic flight tickets, etc. 

A few weeks later, he got an email from the Royal Norwegian Embassy in Abuja, stating that he had been banned from entering Europe for the next five years for forging a job agreement. He tried to reach out to the agent, who was back in Cyprus, but to no avail.

According to the Nigerian Immigration Service (NIS), between 2022 and 2023. This represents a growing number of people like Collins who have successfully relocated in the past. But it also represents a wider group of people, like Collins, who are still trying to leave Nigeria. That���s a wide pool of people who can get scammed. So we did the hard work for you. Here is where to get help if you have been scammed by a travel or ���japa��� agent.

Alert your bank, ASAP

You may sense you���ve been scammed in an instant, or it may slowly dawn on you. Either way, the moment everywhere starts to blur, contact your bank. Give them all the details: the amount, transaction date, recipient bank details, etc. You should probably also provide evidence of your communication with them. If the bank is too slow, contact the  after a few days. The bank can freeze the said account if you act promptly and with enough evidence.

National Association of Nigerian Travel Agencies (NANTA)

The National Association of Nigerian Travel Agencies (NANTA) oversees travel agents and tour operators in Nigeria. You should have checked with them to verify your agent, but it���s probably too late at this point, so you should to them. NANTA can use unspecified measures to sanction the agent. But if they are not a NANTA member, then this will not help much.

Economic and Financial Crimes Commission (EFCC)

The Economic and Financial Crimes Commission (EFCC) has an , an app, and an email address where you can contact them. Be prepared to apply more pressure and visit their offices in this case, because responses can be slow. You should also document all correspondence with the EFCC for evidence if you have to escalate the matter beyond them

Federal Competition and Consumer Protection Commission (FCCPC)

The FCCPC is typically used for consumer protection and can be overlooked in this case. But if the scammer used a registered agency that provides goods and services to consumers as a cover-up, the FCCPC has enforcement power to order refunds and escalate the matter further. Being that it serves as the apex consumer protection and anti-trust authority with a broad mandate across commercial sectors. You can reach them for free at or by email at contact@fccpc.gov.ng. 

Report in the person���s country – if they are abroad

If the scammer is abroad, you can also find the agencies responsible for fraud and scams in the respective countries. In the US, the FBI’s IC3 () takes reports. If they are in the UK, is the way to go. If they are in Canada, the is the responsible agency. If you can do this concurrently with filing complaints here in Nigeria, it could have a much stronger chance.

One of the saddest things about japa scams is that they prey on the simple desire for a better life. This better life is worth chasing; it just shouldn’t cost you everything.

Being a ���side piece��� usually comes with a certain level of secrecy and drama. But what happens when you willingly choose to play the role?

These Nigerians are currently living the reality. From the unexpected perks and complicated arrangements to catching feelings and knowing exactly where they stand, they share the honest, messy and sometimes hilarious stories behind choosing to be the other person

���He was married, but I liked him too much to care��� ��� Seyi, 33, F

I met him at a work conference, and it was supposed to be a simple ���hey, I���m in town��� text, we meet up, have our fun, and keep it moving. However, it���s been everything but that. I like him more than I expected to, and I���ve stopped pretending it’s only physical. Yes, he���s married and has two kids, but I���m not delusional enough to think he���s leaving his family for me. 

I���ve actually reminded him to call family when he���s with me.�� But that doesn���t mean�� I intend to walk away. He isn���t asking me to be his second wife, and I���m not asking him to be my husband. We like each other and our current arrangement works.

“I���m his only side piece��� ��� Kay, 30, M

 I don���t care about my partner���s married life; that���s his business. I only have one rule: the same way he has one wife, he gets one side piece, and that���s me. I���ve grown real feelings for him. We���ve been together for 22 months and complement each other ridiculously well. At this point, we practically live together. I���m not here to tear his family apart, and I���ve never asked him to choose. I���m just here because whatever this is works. 

���I’m cheating on a man who is cheating on his wife��� ��� Mide, 26, F

I met this man at the mall. Handsome, tall, charming, the whole package. I genuinely didn���t know he was married at first, but eventually I started to suspect something. I confronted him, he confessed, and we moved past it.  We���ve had a great run so far, but his audacity baffles me. He gets angry when he finds out I���m talking to other men and insists it���s cheating. Like, sir, what exactly are we doing? You���re married, so whatever we have can never be permanent. Yet whenever I bring up his wife, it suddenly doesn���t count. 

���I was sex-starved��� ��� T. J, 29, M 

I didn���t plan for it to happen, but I ended up with a married man because I was sex-starved and he was the only available option. I genuinely don���t know what I was thinking, but at the time, I didn���t care. As long as I got my orgasm, everybody could go home happy. Whenever he came to town, he���d send one text, and I���d practically be on my way.

It was only after I started exploring with other people that I realised it was a weird arrangement. I barely gained anything. He had money but was tightfisted.  The last time he sent an ���I���m in town��� text, I simply replied, ���Wetin con happen?��� He eventually got the message, and we went our separate ways.

���He offered to take care of me, so I named my price��� ���  Jo, 26,F

I became a side piece when school started swallowing me alive. My parents were struggling, and I couldn���t juggle work and school anymore. The ���uncles��� I thought would help were unreliable, and every offer of help attached sex as a condition. Then, one day, I met a man at a cyber cafe while making photocopies. 

He made small talk and asked for my number, but initially I refused. We met again later, and this time, I gave it to him. He started with sweet nothings, so I asked, ���Are you married?��� Then he went silent, and that was my answer. He offered to take care of me if I agreed to be with him, and I also gave him my conditions. He���s kept his word so far. The sex is good, he gives me everything I need, and I know my place.

���I became a side piece and somehow got a referral��� ��� Ramon, 30, M 

I���d never been a side piece until I met a woman during COVID. I���d only seen women stop men in movies, so when it happened to me, my heart was racing. She rolled down her car window, asked my name and number, and that was that. Before we even got intimate, she had already started spoiling me. Nigeria is hard, so obviously, I gave in. Plus, she���s a MILF;  double blessing.  

When she was leaving the country, I worried that whatever we had would end. Instead, she introduced me to her friend. One woman became two, and suddenly, I had no reason to complain. Let me just say, life is good when women spend on you.

���I liked him even as a four-minute man��� ��� Alex,24, F

My friend introduced me to his cousin, and we started talking. I was single and didn���t mind giving it a chance. The chemistry was great and we spent a lot of time together. Unfortunately, he couldn���t last long in bed.  He blamed it on sugar, but I wasn���t bothered because I liked him. After some time, I noticed he���d always take off immediately after we had sex. He barely waited for aftercare or tried to ask if I enjoyed myself.  I started digging and found out he had a girlfriend. I still stayed because apparently, I had accepted my position as a side piece to a four-minute man.

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