How to Know Your Babe Is About to Get Married, but Not to You

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You know your babe has been making arrangements to go to her village for the festive season, but here are some signs to know that she’ll be coming back with a husband.

She’s Igbo

We’re sorry to break it to you, but your Igbo girlfriend telling you she’s going “home” for Christmas might as well be your invitation to her wedding.

She’s engaging more with wedding content online

You’ve noticed that she’s liking and retweeting more threads about marriage on Twitter, she can’t go a day without reposting cute wedding videos on her IG and WhatsApp, and you still haven’t figured it out? She’s obviously jotting down taking tips for when she’s ready, which is going to be two months from now.

She’s spending more time with you

With all the traffic and stress in Nigeria, she insists on spending most of her time with you. Ah! My brother, she’s trying to get the most of the little time you have left before she weds her real husband-to-be.

She’s not spending time with you

Whenever you suggest you spend a weekend together now, she always says she’s busy. Yes, she’s definitely busy trying to forget you and move on with her life.

She doesn’t get upset easily

Nigerian women don’t like peace. So when you start going two days without any fight, there’s something wrong. Our advice? Start mentally moving on because your relationship is nearing its end.

She gets upset easily

Any small thing you do, she picks offence. You’re now having a minimum of at least three fights a day? Can’t you see that she’s fed up with all your shit and already has plans to marry someone else?

You’ve been dating for more than two years

Two years is enough time to know if you will spend the rest of your life with a Nigerian woman. And if you’ve not started planning to see her people, what’s the point? She’s made up her mind to find someone that’s serious.

All her close friends are married

She’s getting invites to weddings every other week, and you haven’t thought to ask her how she feels about getting married? Your breakfast is going to be served buffet-style.