If you didnt get the memo, youre getting it now. The Society of Toxic Masculinity has declared that it is gay for any man to be seen carrying any of these items
1. A handbag
Are you modelling for Chanel? Why are you carrying bag? Instead of squeezing all your belongings into two pockets.
2. An umbrella
Its better for the rain to beat you as an alpha male. If they ask you why your clothes are wet, tell them thats how real niggas do.
3. Lip balm
Lip balm? Dont you know its gay to have healthy, moisturised lips?
4. Anything in pink
Are you really a real man if you own anything in pink? Its obviously better to declare war on a whole colour just because its not manly enough.
5. A fanny pack
Fanny packs are only for the women and the gays. Real men dont carry fanny packs. In fact they dont carry anything at all.
6. Painkillers
Why would you use painkillers when you can just bear the pain like a real man?
7. A banana
Real man dont eat bananas. Real men dont mind being deficient in potassium because eating bananas is gay. I dont make the rules.
8. Feelings
As a real man, you must never have feelings. You must keep everything in you chest, even though youre about to explode.
