Your Fave Footwear as Your Relationship Red Flags

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Yes, everyone has a relationship red flag, but do you know you can tie yours to your favourite kind of shoes? You didn’t? Well, now, you know.

Slippers

You’re ready to run away from any minor problem. People who wear slippers are the epitome of “I didn’t come to this world to kill myself”. They’d dust their slippers and run if you stress them too much. It’s a red flag because sometimes, a straightforward conversation would solve what you’re running away from.

Sneakers

You think dating is too expensive because you spend all your money on shoes. , but you see that ₦75k shoe? Fair price.

Heels

A little cheating here and there, but that’s all there is. The problem is you like how your shoes sound as you’re moving from one partner to the other. The koin koin sound gets to your head a lot.

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Slides

People who wear slides are the same as slippers wearers, but they’ll be annoyed if you call their slides slippers. If slides are your favourite type of shoes, you’re prone to gaslighting your partner.

Loafers

You’re the complete opposite of the sneakers people. You think money solves all the problems. A little toxicity here and there, but it can all be solved with dollars. You’re wrong sha because people just want communication, but that’s not your business.

Boots

Emotionally unavailable is your middle name, and it’s because the boots are stopping blood flow to your heart. Remove them, let your feet touch grass and allow yourself to feel love. Abi, ki lo feel?

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Crocs

You don’t take anything seriously. Everything about your relationship is a big joke to you, and your partners are not happy about that. Relationships are work, but that’s not your vibe.

Sandals

You put people’s needs above your own and get hurt. Just because you’re wearing Jesus’ sandals doesn’t mean you have to act like him. Your “selflessness” is why you can’t hear certain songs without breaking down in Ebeano.

Barefoot

If you hate any form of footwear so much you’d rather go barefoot, then you don’t just have a red flag, you have a red blanket. You write a script for how relationships should go without factoring in what the person you’re dating is like. Your way or nobody else’s and it’s giving very much delusional.