1. The vendor gets stuck in traffic 

Your caterer has been “just around the corner” since 8 a.m. You have called four times, and she keeps saying the same thing. Meanwhile, your guests are seated, smiling and wishing you and your partner a happy married life on empty stomachs. 

2. The groom is stuck in traffic, too

He left at 9 for a 12 o’clock ceremony and called it “plenty of time.” Reader, it was not. Now you’re at the altar, the pastor is checking his watch, and your groom is sending you a WhatsApp voice note that begins with “Babe, don’t panic.” That sentence has never once calmed anyone. Your mother is fanning herself, the choir is singing the same song for the third time, and the groom is on a bridge, negotiating with a bus driver about a lane that does not exist.

3. “Don’t worry, my friend has a car���

Every family has that one man who “knows someone,” and this time, that someone has a car, one that has been through trials and tribulations. It starts, but only after a short prayer and hitting the engine exactly 12 times. The AC doesn’t work, and the door only opens from the outside. This is the worst type of car to show up in for your wedding.

4. Your makeup artist is on the way

Your makeup artist has been “on the way” for over an hour. The location she just sent is a bus stop. You are sitting in a robe, jumping every time your phone rings. Meanwhile, your videographer is fast asleep, also waiting for the makeup artist so that he can shoot content. 

5. ���I now pronounce you husband and���.���

Your car breaks down on the way to church, and nothing seems to be able to start it. By the time you finally arrive at the church, the wedding has already happened because the church has a strict timing policy, and it has never met a bride it was willing to wait for. And there, standing next to your groom at the altar, is a chair. It represents you. Everyone has accepted this. The chair is calm, dignified, and has not once complained about the heat. Your husband is looking at it the way people look at a very expensive mistake. The chair, unlike you, did not need a ride.

Some things are too important to leave to chance. Your wedding day is one of them, and so is how you get there.

That’s why people who don’t want to gamble on it use . Weddings, airport transfers, corporate events, or any day that can’t afford a “small mistake”. We make sure you show up on time and in comfort.

 Premium Mobility for Every Journey. Book Patjeda for your next big day!

Being a bridesmaid means standing beside your friend on one of the biggest days of her life. But somewhere between the asoebi, bridal shower and wedding reception, things can go very wrong.

We asked bridesmaids to tell us about the moment a wedding changed their friendship forever, and they had stories for days.

 ���I was invited as chief bridesmaid, but became the help��� ��� Favour, 28 

She was my neighbour before we became friends. When she announced her wedding, she asked me to be her chief bridesmaid. I initially declined because the wedding was in her village, and I couldn���t afford the trip or asoebi. She begged me to come and promised to reimburse me, so I agreed.

I spent my savings travelling to Uyo, only to be treated like a house help. She tried to squeeze me and 11 other people into one hotel room, so I paid for another. Later, she showed up with six more people and expected me to accommodate them too.

The worst part came on the wedding day when I discovered she already had a chief bridesmaid. Apparently, my duties were holding her bags, bathing children, washing plates, and basically being her slave. I left during the wedding. She never called to ask why, and I never called her either.

���Asoebi ended our seven-year friendship ��� ��� Jessica, 27

My friend was getting married and added me to the asoebi group. She then called to sweet-talk me into buying it, even though I���d already told her I wouldn���t be around for the wedding. Maybe she thought I was bluffing because I really didn���t show up, and I obviously didn���t buy the asoebi. 

Still, I wanted to support her, so I decided to send her a monetary gift. I called several times, but she ignored me. When we finally met, she shared exactly how she felt. She was angry that I hadn���t bought the asoebi, and after we argued about it, she ended our seven-year friendship. Me? Sad ke? Congratulations to you and yours. 

���I was a bridesmaid, not the bride���s punching bag��� ��� Chiasoka, 33 

I was one of my friend���s bridesmaids, and from the moment we arrived at the venue, she started shouting at everyone. Someone misplaced her makeup bag and she screamed. When one of the bridesmaids sat down for five minutes, she yelled that we were ���useless.���

I tried to stay out of it until she turned on  me because I didn���t bring her water quickly enough. She called me a lazy girl in front of everyone.  At that point, I just laughed because I could feel my crazy loading. I told her she was mannerless and uncouth, then walked away before I said something worse.

Instead of leaving empty-handed, I went to the servers and told them the bride wanted food packed in a cooler for her brother. I collected it, booked a ride, removed my gele and checked into a hotel.

���She befriended me because she needed someone for her bridal train��� ��� Anu, 28

I met this girl and immediately liked her. She approached me, our vibes matched, and she insisted we exchanged contacts. We talked for a week, met some girls for brunch, and we developed a bond. 

Then she told me she had returned to Nigeria to get married and wanted me on her bridal train. I was surprised , but happily accepted. I bought asoebi, attended rehearsals and showed up for  the wedding. Then, everything changed. She barely responded  to my texts or calls, and I realised she had returned to the UK.

When I confronted her, she admitted she���d only needed someone who fit the aesthetic she wanted for her bridal train because she barely had friends in Nigeria. I froze. A whole me? I cursed her out, and we blocked each other.

���She threw the cake and I threw hands��� ��� Olamide, 26

My friend���s bridal shower was going perfectly until one woman decided to become the villain. While playing a game, the host asked her to say something, but she refused. Then she started snapping at everyone asking her to participate.

To make it worse,  she said, ���The bride wouldn���t even be sitting here if it wasn���t for my brother.���  Her words were completely disrespectful, so I told her to leave  if she was uncomfortable. She called me names and accused us of being leeches. I gave it right back to her.Then she threw the cake on the floor.

Something in me snapped. I attacked her before people pulled us apart. I expected my friend to understand why I���d reacted, but instead, she told me I was the one who had crossed the line.  That broke me. I had just fought for you. And somehow, I was the problem. I left the shower and that was the end of our friendship.  She has tried rekindling things since then, but I���m not interested. 

���I ruined my friend���s wedding night with one drunken confession��� ��� Lara, 34

My friend was getting married to a man I used to date. When we found out, we agreed to keep our past to ourselves. Whatever happened between us was over, and I didn���t see the point in hurting her with it.

A week before the wedding, I ran into him at a bar. We drank, talked about old times, and somehow, we slept together. I hated myself afterwards and blamed the alcohol. I decided I���d take the secret to my grave.

Then came the wedding. After the vows, my friend wouldn���t stop reminding me that I was the only single one left. ���Find a good man���. ���He���ll never be like mine.��� She kept going.  By the after-party, I was drunk, fed up, and tired of hearing it. I blurted out that I���d slept with her husband the week before which meant she was still in need of a good man too. 

Those words ruined everything.. They tried to save the marriage, but divorced three months later. Her husband still texts me. 

��� The bride didn���t like my joke��� ��� Ivie, 29

At my friend���s wedding, the MC asked a few of us to say something about the bride. I said plenty of sweet things, then turned to the groom and joked, ���Please be careful with my friend. She has small madness, so don���t bring it out.��� Everyone laughed, including the groom. But not the bride.

Later, she pulled me aside and asked how I could embarrass her like that. I genuinely didn���t understand. She said I���d disrespected her and made people think she wasn���t well-rounded. She was shouting at me, so I apologised and explained it was obviously a joke, but she wouldn���t hear it.

When the other bridesmaids joined us, they were confused too. I just hissed and walked away, annoyed. I texted her later the next day to apologise again. By then, she���d  blocked me everywhere.

Read Next: I Grew Up With a Dad Who Tried to Burn Our Family Alive

We asked Nigerians to tell us about the worst thing a family member did during their wedding, and how they dealt with it. Here���s what they said.

���My aunt printed extra wedding invites behind my back��� ��� Temidayo*, 32, F

When my husband and I were planning our wedding in 2019, we told our families we didn���t want a big celebration. But because we are both firstborns, they kept pressuring us. Eventually, we agreed to 250 guests. It was more than we wanted, and I made it clear that 250 was my limit.

After the church service, I got to the reception and immediately noticed something was wrong. The venue was packed. I was already upset because I thought the venue had double-booked the day, but that wasn���t the case. 

I later found out that my aunt had secretly printed 200 extra invitation cards and had invited almost everyone in my mother���s extended family, plus people from our hometown. She even hired two extra caterers and servers.

A venue that should have comfortably seated 300 people had to squeeze in over 450. The ACs couldn���t cool the space, and everything became clumsy and chaotic. My aunt wasn���t apologetic in the least. She said she didn���t know why I wanted to keep my wedding a secret. I was so angry, I spent the rest of the reception stewing. 

I���ve refused to speak to or interact with her since then. 

意鞄艶油油is returning on August 22, 2026, in Lagos! Come learn from finance experts and industry leaders, and partake in unfiltered conversations about building wealth and diversifying your income stream in a country like Nigeria.油Real stories, expert advice you can actually use, and a community ready to build wealth together.油.

���My brother tried to ruin my wedding after party��� ��� Segun*, 37, M

My family is deeply religious, so my parents insisted there���d be no alcohol at the wedding reception. My wife and I didn���t mind because we���d planned an after-party with our friends.

Before the big day, my groomsmen stocked my car with cartons of alcohol. I gave my younger brother, who was also my best man, the car key because I trusted him completely. 

The reception went well, and then it was time for the after-party. When the older guests left, I started looking for my brother so we could bring out the booze. He was nowhere to be found, and his number wasn���t going through either.

I had to beg my friends to rush to a supermarket to buy more alcohol, which meant spending more money. I was angry, but I tried to enjoy the night. 

The next day, during the Thanksgiving service, I asked my brother why he had disappeared the night before. He then explained that drinking alcohol ���didn���t honour God or our parents��� and he felt like my friends had pressured me into wanting an after-party. I  almost beat him up. I was so angry I didn���t speak to him for weeks. The only reason I eventually forgave him was that he hadn���t thrown the drinks away.

���My father invited my ex-boyfriend to the wedding��� ��� Chika*, 34, F

Three years before I got married, I dated a man my father absolutely adored. I���m not even sure why. The relationship ended after he cheated on me, but somehow my father never stopped liking him.

Imagine my shock when I noticed him at my wedding reception. At first, I thought he’d somehow gotten an invitation through mutual friends, but no. My father invited him.

When I confronted my dad, he said that he thought we were still friends. I still cringe whenever I remember that day. Every time I caught a glimpse of him at that reception, I got irritated. It was so bad that my husband noticed, and I had to explain what happened. It was so embarrassing.

���My cousin stole the money they sprayed at the wedding��� ��� Tunde*, 33, M

When I got married, guests sprayed us with a lot of money, and my dad���s friends also gave us several cash gifts. We had a designated area for envelopes and a table for presents.

The wedding was fantastic, and my wife and I didn���t realise anything was wrong until we started sorting gifts the next day. Several envelopes were empty, and others were missing.

After asking around, we discovered my cousin had been helping himself to the money throughout the reception. I don’t know why he thought nobody would notice. The betrayal was shocking. This was someone I’d grown up with.

The worst part was how my family handled it. Instead of demanding accountability, they kept asking me to forgive him because he’s family. I eventually did, but I���d never trust him with anything important again.

���My cousin announced her pregnancy during my bridal shower��� ��� Bimpe*, 31, F

My older cousin had been trying for a baby for years, so when she told me she���d finally gotten pregnant about two weeks before my wedding, I was genuinely happy for her.

She wanted to keep the news private, and I respected her wish.

Two nights before my wedding, my female relatives, bridesmaids and aso-ebi ladies organised a small bridal shower for me. Halfway through the shower, my cousin stood up and announced that she was expecting.

The room exploded. People screamed, cried, hugged her, and completely forgot why we���d gathered in the first place. I just sat there watching my bridal shower turn into a pregnancy celebration. I felt guilty for being upset because I knew how much the pregnancy meant to her. But it still hurt. There were so many other days she could have made that announcement. Why choose mine?

���My uncle nearly started a fight over food��� ��� Ibrahim*, 40, M

I was already stressed enough without having to manage grown adults behaving like toddlers.

One of my uncles arrived late to the reception and discovered the caterers had run out of the meal he wanted. Instead of choosing something else, he started shouting at the servers. Another uncle told him to calm down. Within minutes,

it escalated into pushing, insults and people threatening physical violence. I was so embarrassed. Thankfully, my cousins and some groomsmen stepped in before things got worse.

The fight lasted less than 10 minutes, but it became the main topic of conversation afterwards. Eight years later, my family members still bring it up whenever my wedding is mentioned.

Sunken Ships: I Lost My Best Friend After Dating A Woman He Said I Could Have

Some couples stayed out of the drama, while others leaned fully into the spotlight. Still, all of them kept us invested. No two journeys looked the same, and that���s exactly the point. Here���s 91心頭利嫋���s list of celebrity couples who shaped Nigerian romance in 2025, and the categories their love stories earned.

Most Talked About Couple: Priscilla Ojo & Juma (Jux) Mkambala

Priscilla Ojo and Tanzanian singer Juma Jux met by chance on a flight to Rwanda in early 2024, and their dreamy love story moved quickly from there. Within months, Jux met Priscilla���s family and publicly confirmed their relationship in July, after featuring her as his love interest in the music video for his single ������. By September 2024, the couple announced their engagement. 

From February to May 2025, Priscilla and Juma leaned fully into the spotlight with a lavish, four-part wedding rollout across Tanzania and Nigeria. Just when it seemed like the attention around their relationship might finally slow down, the couple announced they were expecting a baby in July and welcomed their son a month later.

Between their elaborate celebrations and strong online presence, Priscilla and Juma were impossible to ignore, easily making them one of Nigeria���s most talked-about couples of the year.

Most Romantic Couple: Shawn Faqua & Akwa Ugo Sharon

Sharon actor Shawn at a worship event she attended in October 2024 to support friends, and their relationship unfolded naturally from there. Somewhere along the way, Sharon casually mentioned she���d love to take a train ride one day, and months later, Shawn turned that offhand comment into a grand gesture and proposed after the trip in May 2025. 

As if the proposal alone didn���t set the bar high enough, they exchanged vows aboard a moving train and made history as Nigeria���s first-ever train wedding. What gets more romantic than that?

Most Fashionable Couple: Frank Itom & Ifedayo Agoro

After Ife, founder of ������, and digital creator Frank went public with their relationship and engagement in February 2025, their shared sense of style quickly became part of what people loved about them. The couple became known for their coordinated outfits and regularly pop up on our feeds looking well put together without trying too hard.

As their wedding plans unfolded, fashion played a significant role in how they told their story. In the lead-up to their wedding, Frank and Ife released a pre-wedding shoot that blended Edo and Yoruba traditional wear, paying homage to both their cultural backgrounds. They won us over completely when they recreated outfits worn by their late parents as a tribute. 

Chronically Online Couple: Veekee James & Femi Atere

Veekee James Femi Atere in 2019 through a mutual friend he worked with as a manager, but their relationship didn���t turn romantic until 2022. They got engaged in October 2023 and followed up with elaborate traditional and white weddings across Akwa Ibom and Lagos in 2024. From the start, their marriage lived very publicly on Veekee���s social media.

From their constant PDA to hot takes on money and marriage roles, Nigerians had plenty to say about the couple throughout 2025. While Femi still describes himself as a behind-the-scenes person, he has remained supportive of Veekee���s fashion career. He has slowly stepped into the spotlight himself, popping up in her content and brand campaigns. Love it or hate it, Veekee and Femi say they feel comfortable sharing their lives online, even as people criticise them for oversharing.

Best Low-key Couple: Temi Otedola & Oluwatosin Ajibade (Mr Eazi)

Mr Eazi and Temi Otedola have quietly done their thing since going public with their relationship in 2017, after at one of DJ Cuppy���s gigs in London. For eight years, their relationship has stayed drama-free and intentionally private. Even when Mr Eazi proposed to Temi in Venice in 2022 on the set of his ������ music video, Nigerians still questioned whether the proposal was real.

True to form, they kept things low-key all the way to the altar. Between May and August 2025, Temi and Eazi held a series of private weddings across different countries, including a legal ceremony in Monaco on Mr Eazi���s late mother���s birthday, with just two of them present. Even though speculation swirled for months, the couple only confirmed their union when Vogue shared their official wedding photos in August.

Most Viral Couple: Innocent (2Baba) Idibia and Natasha Osawaru

In January 2025, 2Baba sent the internet into overdrive when he announced his from Annie Idibia and almost immediately went public with a new relationship and proposal to Edo State lawmaker Natasha Osawaru. Videos confirming the romance surfaced while the divorce was still unfolding. 

We barely had time to process one headline before the next dropped. By February, 2Baba���s mother had made a public asking Natasha to ���free her son��� from an alleged spell, and later claimed he had gone missing and might have been abducted. 

Despite shutting down the allegations and insisting their relationship was loving, the couple continued to go viral for the opposite reason. By November, they were trending again after 2Baba���s former management team Natasha was ruining his career. Heated arguments caught on camera soon followed, including one at a London airport and another during an Instagram Live with . One way or another, they managed to keep our 2025 interesting from start to finish.

Best Second Chance Couple: David Adeleke (Davido) & Chioma Rowland

Davido and Chioma attended the same high school, but their paths didn���t cross until 2013, when they met at university through a mutual friend. Davido announced their relationship in the sweetest way in 2017, convincing Chioma to star in his ������ music video. A proposal followed, and in 2019, they welcomed their first child just a month later. The couple announced wedding plans for 2020 but paused them due to the coronavirus pandemic, after which the relationship went quiet.

By 2021, when Davido and Chioma unfollowed each other on Instagram, it confirmed rumours that had been swirling since 2020 that the couple had split. The breakup appeared to be cemented by photos of Davido and Instagram model Yafai on holiday in the Caribbean. 

Still, they found their way back to each other. In early 2022, a video of Chioma leaving with Davido after his concert confirmed they were giving it another shot. Through the devastating loss of their son later in 2022, the couple stayed together. They welcomed twins in 2023 and officially tied the knot with a traditional wedding in Lagos in 2024 and a white wedding in Miami in May 2025. Their love story was really worth a second chapter.

Best Musical Couple: Simi Ogunleye & Adekunle (Gold) Kosoko

People often say mixing love and work is a bad idea, but Simi and Adekunle Gold proved otherwise. The pair dated for five years, mostly out of the public eye, before quietly getting married in January 2019. Many fans first saw glimpses of both their relationship and wedding through the music video for their duet ������.

Their careers have remained closely intertwined ever since. Over the years, they���ve collaborated on some of our favourite love songs while also supporting each other���s solo projects behind the scenes. Speaking about his latest album, ���Fuji���, Adekunle Gold explained, ���My partnership with Simi is very seamless. She has mixed most of my albums, and I trust her with my work even when I���m not in the room.���

Most Enduring Couple: Afeez Owo & Mide Martins

Afeez Owo and Mide Martins��� love story is as Nollywood as it gets. They met through Mide���s late mother, veteran actress Funmi Martins, with Afeez initially living with the family as her manager. Their relationship deepened when Mide supported Afeez through a difficult heartbreak from a previous relationship. By 2003, they married and have stayed together for over two decades.

Of course, the marriage hasn���t been without its rough patches. In 2016, the couple weathered a very public separation. Still, they chose to stay together. Years later, Afeez that social media amplified much of the crisis. In August 2025, the couple marked their 22nd wedding anniversary, with Afeez openly stating keeping their marriage intact required a lot of work.

Best Fictional Couple: Omasilu & Zion

Though newly married in ������ by 91心頭利嫋 Life, Omasilu and Zion���s relationship is tested almost immediately when they struggle to consummate their union due to a fear tied to Omasilu���s prolonged virginity. Instead of pulling away, Zion chooses patience as they work through the issue together.

Yes, Omasilu and Zion are fictional, but the grip this short film had on us made rooting for them feel very real. Their chemistry felt tender and intentional, and Zion���s tenderness made it impossible not to hope things work out for them. The film may have ended, but we���re still rooting for Omasilu and Zion to stay together forever (at least in our heads).

Read Next: Love Life Wrapped: 15 Nigerians Look Back on Their 2025 Love Stories

But have you ever wondered if some couples regret certain things from their big day, though? We asked these eight Nigerians, and here���s what they shared with us:

���Having a big wedding���

��� Ola*, 25

I���ve wanted a small destination wedding for as long as I can remember, but I had no choice but to settle for a full-on Yoruba owambe-style wedding because of my husband and our families.

The whole wedding felt like a chore, and it���s still painful that no one listened to me, and I never got the excitement most people get before/during their wedding. It felt more like I was just there because I had to be the bride.

RELATED: If You Have a Yoruba Mother, Here���s Why She���s an Absolute Babe

���Not sleeping the night before���

��� Ife*, 26

It wasn���t like I didn���t want to sleep ��� I just couldn���t because I was too excited. By the time Saturday rolled around, I was extremely tired. I couldn���t enjoy the reception because I just wanted to find somewhere to sleep. And it didn���t help that everyone expected us to spend more time on the dance floor.

RELATED: Five Nigerian Women Talk About Their Wedding Day

���The invitation cards���

��� Kenny, 34

I still berate myself for printing invitation cards since most people just got the information from our wedding website. We printed about 200 cards and still had about 100 cards after the wedding. Such waste in this Buhari government.

���I worried about everything���

��� Chioma*, 24

I must have been a bridezilla because I was everywhere in the days leading up to the wedding, trying to make sure that everything was perfect. On my wedding day, I kept fussing about different things: the bridesmaid���s dress that needed to be fixed, the makeup artist that came in late, the traffic on the way to the church, etc.

Looking back, I wish I���d just let things sort themselves out and just enjoyed my day. Worse, the pictures bear witness to how stressed I let myself be. Brides-to-be, take note, abeg.

���Not booking backup photographers���

��� Demi*, 30

The painful part is that my wife and I promised each other that we wouldn���t be the couple complaining about wedding picture disappointments because we���d get like two backups. LMAO.

Expenses really took a toll on our budget during wedding preparations, and we constantly postponed reaching out to backup photographers until we eventually forgot. We had just one photographer at our wedding, and the pictures weren���t great. The photographer even took forever to share them.

���The decorations���

��� Edna*, 29

I let a family friend handle the hall decorations because I was trying to ���encourage��� growing businesses ��� big mistake. My heart dropped into my stomach when I stepped into the hall the evening before my wedding to check out what was happening. 

The designs were tacky, and they definitely weren’t what I asked for. I had to let my maid of honour tactfully remove some items and arrange for another decorator to assist because if I had said anything, I would���ve beaten somebody up.

���Having a traditional wedding���

��� Chi*, 27

Don���t get me wrong; I���m all for honouring traditions. But my traditional wedding (which took place in my hometown in the East) felt like a waste of money. I wish I had been more vocal in pleading with my family to reduce the items on the bridal list.

My husband had to spend so much money pleasing relatives I didn���t even know and buying stuff I didn���t even see ��� all for a one-day event. He didn���t complain to me, but I think he just didn���t want to come across as weak. I still wish I���d done something.

CHECK OUT: Ten Unpopular Marriage Opinions Young Nigerians Are Not Sorry About

���Getting married in my mum���s church���

��� Olanna*, 33

My mum attends MFM while I attend one of these modern pentecostal churches. As much as I tried, my parents kicked hard against getting married at my church. In their words, ���What would our church people think?��� They even threatened to be absent from the wedding if I didn’t concede to them. 

Of course, I wanted my parents there, so I had to give in. I couldn���t wear the dress I wanted, and make-up was out of it. This thing about weddings being the ���bride���s day��� might be true everywhere else, but definitely not in Nigeria.

*Some names have been changed for the sake of anonymity.

ALSO READ: My Wedding Dress Got Delivered With a Burnt Patch

Davina, 28, and Hamza, 28, dated for a year before they got married. This week on Love Life, they talk about dating for three months, dating again three years later and eventually getting married.

What���s your earliest memory of each other? 

Hamza: In 2005, we attended the same secondary school for one term. I joined in JS1 and left that same year. 

Davina: I remember him running out of the dining hall with glasses on one day. And in my head, I was like, “Where are you running to?” 

Hamza: I don���t remember that day, but I remember you were a popular kid who loved music and dancing.  

Did you two talk to each other? 

Hamza: No, we never did until 2009 when I found her on Twitter. I don���t remember a lot of our conversations during that time, but I know I invited her to my prom. 

Davina: I couldn’t go because it was the same day as my prom. Plus, I had a boyfriend at the time. 

Hamza: Aha! Now the truth is coming out. 

LOL. When did you people start talking proper?

Davina: After I came back to the UK for my master’s in 2017, my friend ��� who was also his friend from our secondary school ��� invited me to her house. She was like, ���By the way, Hamza is going to be there.��� 

When I saw him, I thought he grew up nicely. He was skinny in secondary, but now, he was looking all buff and sweet. 

Hamza: She looked really nice too. We had a good time at our friend���s house and when she was about to leave, I told her to make sure she comes back. 

Davina: I did and we dated for like three months. 

Hol��� up. How did that happen? 

Davina: So I came back to my friend���s place a few days later, and he was there too. This time, he gave me more attention. We watched a movie, and at the end of it, we kissed. 

Hamza: It felt really nice, and I started to move to her. We exchanged numbers and got talking. I asked her out a few days later, and she said yes. 

Davina: Hamza was very romantic and all, but I was still hung up on my ex in Lagos. Plus, I���d been used to long-distance relationships and being in such close proximity with him was hard for me. So I broke up with him after three months. I was being stupid.

Hamza: I don’t think it was stupid. I just think you weren’t ready.

Davina: Yeah, I wasn’t ready, and I felt like I needed to be honest about it. Part of me wanted to keep trying, but I just wasn���t there for it. He didn���t deserve a half-arsed relationship and I told him that. 

How did you take it? 

Hamza: I was really hurt but I���m happy she was honest with me. I moved on with my life and had other relationships. 2020 was particularly interesting for me. I was settling into adulthood proper. I���d let go of a lot of things and people to heal and just go through my emotions. I���d also been through therapy and was feeling good about myself. Only for this babe to call me one random day in September 2020, three years later. I was playing video games that day, and I remember being very confused. I picked up because I wanted to know if she was okay. 

Davina: I just wanted to say hi to him. I had just come out of a relationship. 

At that point, I prayed to God. I said to Him, I don���t want to get married, but if it���s what He wants for me, He should show me the person I should marry and help me pursue him. A few days later, Hamza���s name began to sit in my spirit. I���d wake up at 4 a.m. to pray and Hamza would be on my mind, so I decided to call him. I thought there was no animosity so why not reach out? I even talked to one of my closest friends about him, and she said I could shoot my shot if I wanted to. 

Did you want to? 

Davina: Yes, I did, but I also knew I was the one who broke us up in the first place, so I had to be gentle and patient with him. I asked him to hang out with me. 

While we were together, I���d give him compliments. Tell him I like his hair or his fit. This boy still didn���t figure out that I was moving to him until December. I even invited him over to my house and cooked for him. Me that I���m protective of my space. 

Hamza: LOL. After I left your house that night, my best friend called me. I told her I just left your house, and she said, ���Are you sure that babe doesn’t like you?��� I asked her if people can���t just be friends? I even got upset about it. 

Davina: That���s how clueless he was���until I kissed him. 

Ou. How did that happen?油

Hamza: She invited me over to eat.  

Davina: I made this boy food again. I’m mostly vegan, but I made him a suya mushroom thing, fried yam and fried plantain with palm oil pepper sauce. I also got him Maltina. For context, I live in a white-dominated area so it’s hard to find Nigerian things, but I went to look for Maltina for him. 

Hamza, and you still didn���t know?

Hamza: LOL. No idea. I got to her place and there was food. So much to eat in so little time. After eating the food, and drinking the Maltina and wine, I couldn���t move. I even told her I have to introduce her to my other friends so we can all be friends. I ended up sleeping on her couch. 

Davina: That was my plan ��� to make him so comfortable, he wouldn���t be able to find a reason to leave my house. 

Hamza: The next morning, we kissed, and I left the house confused. When I got in my car, I called my best friend to tell her we just kissed and she’s like, “Ehen, I knew it.��� We texted a lot that day. And I wasn’t doing anything that night so I decided to go back to her house. 

Davina: Please, I’m not a freak, but I told him if he comes back, I’m not letting him go. 

Hamza, it was obvious by now, right? 

Hamza: Yes, but I needed to know what we were doing with each other. I didn���t want us to be friends who kiss every now and then. So that night, we talked about the possibility of dating. I knew not to get myself into situations I couldn���t control by not defining them. We didn���t become a couple that night, but I knew we were getting there. 

Davina: In my head, he was already my boyfriend sha. 

Hamza: It became official for me in January. 

Tell me about that

Hamza: We were spending a lot of time together, and I liked it. In December, I went away with my friends for the holidays. I missed her so much during that time. When I came back, my housemate tested positive for COVID, so we had to isolate for 14 days. Gosh, it was hard not seeing Davina for that long. 

One day, we were talking and the conversation of ���boyfriend and girlfriend��� came up because, as usual, Davina had an agenda. 

She said, “I want to know what I should call you when I’m talking to my friends.���

A smart queen��� 

Hamza: LOL. The thing is I wanted to ask her out in person, and I told her that. She said it didn���t matter so I asked her to be my girlfriend, and she said yes. 

What was the relationship like the second time around? 

Hamza: Initially, it was scary. Here���s a girl I had chased twice, and now, we were in a relationship. However, like I���ve said, Davina is great company, and at the foundation of our partnership, we had a friendship. This allowed us to navigate seemingly difficult situations because we liked one another, and on top of that, we love each other very much. Without even thinking too much about it, I knew I wanted to be with her for the rest of my life. 

Davina: For me, this is the first relationship I���ve been in that���s taught me so much about myself. I���ve learnt to be more patient with people and with myself. I���m more self-reflective. I���ve also learnt to love in languages that are not my primary love language. For context, my primary love languages are physical touch and words of affirmation while Hamza���s are acts of service and quality time. 

Also, this is the first relationship in which I know my partner would do anything for me. Not just because he says it, but he actually makes an effort to. I love that he is always there for me, ever supportive and ever loving. I wouldn���t trade us for anything in this world. 

Sweet, do you two fight? Tell me about your biggest fight

Hamza: Davina and I hardly ever fight. We���ve had just two big fights in the course of our relationship. I���ll tell you about the last one. She had an issue with me that questioned my commitment to her. 

Davina: I was struggling to understand the nature of one of Hamza’s friendships. I had been cheated on before in previous relationships so my guard was up. I confronted him about it in a raw and immature way. The approach didn���t hurt him as much as the fact that I was questioning his commitment to me. 

Hamza: I was annoyed because I had spent months before that day planning my proposal.

It wasn���t even a fight where we raised our voices at each other. Our sentences were pointed and abrupt. The silence in between was the most deafening sound so I decided to take a stroll to clear my head. As I walked, I prayed because I���d already planned to propose to her the next day. In this situation, I needed guidance from God. I didn���t take my phone because I didn���t need any external influence on my decision. I didn���t know how much time passed, but I got the confirmation I needed that Davina was the one so I went back to her place. 

Davina: I was so worried. He didn���t return until just before midnight. In fact, I was on my way to search for him when he walked in. I apologised for what happened and he told me that he had been planning to propose to me so he needed to know if I trusted him and really wanted to be with him. I just started crying. We both did actually. I���d never been so sure of anything. 

Aww. When is the wedding?

Davina: In four weeks! 

Hamza: We honestly can���t wait. 

Send us wedding photos, okay? Until then, what attracts you to each other?

Davina: I can���t pick just one thing. For one, I love Hamza’s physique. His arms, his jawline, his eyes, his smile beautifully framed by his lips. Phew! He���s also very understanding and patient. He takes his time to listen and is never quick to respond. I love how screwed on his head is. 

Hamza: I actually dislike this question because it���s complex. I think most people expect either a single poetic line or an essay filled with buzz words. However, I���ll put it simply like this: Davina is my person. She is kind, understanding, patient, loving, caring, strong and intelligent. She corrects me when I���m wrong, fights for me when needed, and most of all, she loves God. She is and will always be someone I can depend on. With her, I can call anywhere home.

While I wipe my tears, please rate your relationship on a scale of one to ten油

Hamza: 9 because no relationship is perfect, and we���ve had our fair share of troubles. But there���s no one else I���d rather do this with. 

Davina: It���s the same for me. This relationship hasn���t just been a source of peace for me, but it���s also caused me to grow a lot, which I���m super thankful for. 

Check back every Thursday by 9 AM for new Love Life stories here. The stories will also be a part of the Ships newsletter, so sign up

If you want to share your own Love Life story, fill this .

Yes, you are. And yes, you will go through it.

2. What if she doesn���t show up?

LMAO. This will actually be a sticky situation to deal with. But you should be fine.

3. Oh my God, she really isn���t going to show up.

Relax, she’s probably just stuck in traffic.

4. She���s here. Thank God. 

Of course, she is. Duh!

5. This thing is taking too long. Can we get to the part where I kiss her?

Take it easy, Tiger. You weren’t even sure you wanted to do this a few hours ago.

6. Wait, What will I do if an ex-girlfriend is here?

Bro, you’ve been watching too many movies.

7. Oh, my God. Why am I getting emotional? I think I���m going to cry now.

Let it all out, big man.

8. No, I���m a hard guy.

You are not.

9. You know what? Fuck it.

That’s the spirit!

 10. Oh my God, we’re married.

As it should be.

11. But this wedding is kind of expensive sha.

Uhm.

Quiz: How Much Will Your Wedding Cost?

The subject of today’s “A Week In The Life” is These are women who host Yoruba wedding ceremonies, sing songs of praises, double as MC’s and serve a host of other functions. She talks to us about not liking parties even though her job revolves around them, the challenges she faces in day to day life, and what a perfect retirement looks like for her.油

MONDAY:

The first thing on my mind when I wake up today is that I’ve been an Alaga for weddings for close to 22 years. And that feels unreal. It feels like a lifetime ago when I stumbled into this job. Becoming an Alaga for me was by luck/chance because I didn’t go to school to learn neither was I trained; it just happened. 

In those days, as a youth in church, we used to rally round to help members of the church getting married ��� planning, declaration, coordination and any other thing. It was during one of these moments my journey started. There was a particular sister we helped out with planning her wedding, and it is wasn’t until the day of the wedding that we knew we were supposed to get an Alaga. The only reason we even knew was because the groom’s family came with theirs. In the midst of all the confusion, all the other sister’s pushed me forward saying: “Sister Bisi, you can do it. You can talk very well.” I mean this was true; I was an interpreter in church, I sang in the choir, and I was also a teacher in the children department, but the fact remained that I had never done something like that before. As if it was ordained by God, I now wore one very fine cloth that day. Grudgingly, I stepped up to represent the bride, and that was the beginning of my journey. It wasn’t perfect and I’m thankful I had help from someone who guided me on what to do and say. I was also lucky that it was a small church event, so we just said opening prayer, praise the Lord, let the bride come in, let the groom come in and we were done. 

However, my second time on the job was intentional. After witnessing my performance, one of the sisters in church said she was not going to pay what the professionals were asking for, and I had to be her own Alaga. Her argument was since I had done it for someone else, I could also do hers. I told her I was scared and that event was impromptu but all she told me was to go and prepare. Because I was unmarried at the time, I spent a lot of hours watching videos from my sister’s wedding to learn the mannerisms, songs, routines etc. Thankfully, I pulled it off. After the success of the second wedding, I officially became the church’s Alaga. Couples would come in for marriage counselling and the church would provide options for them to save money, part of which usually involved my services. 

That’s how I began full time with no prior training or anything. God just showed me that this is a calling, and ever since then, I’ve been able to train at least over 120 people who are doing well. That alone is enough reason for me to get out of bed every morning. 

TUESDAY:

One question people ask me is “What do we do with all the money we collect at weddings?” I try to break it down for them. Firstly, the money is for the family. We share the proceeds into like thirteen envelopes which are then distributed to the family members on the paternal and maternal side. The money is a token to appreciate people who took off time to attend the wedding. It’s not as if the money will change their lives, because some people get as low as ���200 or ���500, but it’s for them to say that during so and so wedding, they went home with something. 

We also collect specific money like money for unveiling the bride, which goes to the bride. There’s money for reading letter which goes to the person who reads the letter the couple writes to each other. We also have “aeroplane” money for people who bring in the wife to the venue. 

I make my own money from being sprayed during the programme. Or after the groomsmen finish prostrating to both families, I ask them to bless me with anything they have. The reason why it seems like some of my colleagues charge a lot of money from the groomsmen and bridesmaid is that they probably collected a cheap amount for their services. Parents usually boast about the calibre of people coming to the wedding to make sure we don’t charge a lot. In cases like that, the Alaga has to make up for the difference in fees. That means that everyone present at that ceremony will pay through their nose. I charge a fixed fee before the wedding, and that’s why I don’t collect money more than once at the venue, and I remit the money for the family to the family. 

There’s a class of people called ���no bowl show���, where the family instructs us not to collect any money at the venue. In cases like that, we charge them two times the fee.

WEDNESDAY:

Every job has challenges, and my own is not an exception. Sometimes, the other side [bride or groom] might also have their own Alaga, and the person is trying to show off their talents or skills while you’re working on a fixed time, and that can be frustrating. It can cause a lot of issues when both of you are not the same page. You just have to pray to meet someone who is understanding.

Also, Nigerians do not keep to time. Sometimes they know an event won’t start till 2 p.m., but they’ll tell you to come by 8 or 10 a.m. So I end up spending time I could have used on other productive things waiting for the event to start. I went for an event on December 24th that was supposed to start by 8 a.m. In my head, plus Nigerian time, we’d start at 10 a.m. and be done by latest 2 p.m ��� I’d still have ample time to get home and make Christmas plans for my family. This event didn’t start until some minutes before 1 p.m. When I wanted to introduce the groom, I was told that he was stuck in traffic. Thank God I went along with one of my colleagues that day because after waiting for a few minutes and no show, I just picked up my car and left the venue. My colleague was the one who anchored the rest of the event. 

Another issue that is now “normal” is men making advances at me during this work. It’s always annoying when some father of the groom or bride makes advances at me because most times, I get close to the mother of the bride or groom first. Imagine talking to someone for months and planning a wedding with them; there’s a form of friendship that occurs from spending a lot of time together. Then suddenly on the day of the event, her husband is making a move on you. It’s very somehow. I just chalk it up to men’s nature, ignore and face my work. I know my worth, and I know what the men are doing is all noise.  

THURSDAY:

A good Alaga must have a very good dress sense. They must also smell nice, look nice and have a good voice. They should be able to coordinate themselves. If you can’t control your temper you can’t do this work. Mostly because people will step on your toes intentionally or unintentionally. To succeed in this job, you also need to learn time management ��� don’t waste people’s time and make sure you finish early enough for the family to entertain their guests. These are the things any exceptional Alaga must know. 

I’m always training people. In fact, I’m starting another training in February. Today, I’m counting the number of students who have enrolled for the class, and ten slots have been filled out the twenty I planned for. I’m glad that people are interested in learning about this job. It’s very lucrative to use your voice and talent to make money. All you have to do is transport yourself to the venue and you’re good. I call my tribe the “Exceptional Alagas” because we train them on how to sing, coordinate events and not be greedy. The beauty is that the training happens over WhatsApp, so it accommodates my busy schedule. After the online class, we have an internship period where people shadow professionals for six months to a year. I’m always excited to pass on knowledge to the younger generation. 

FRIDAY:

Without my husband, I wouldn’t be anything at all and I’m not even joking. If I didn’t marry him, I don’t see any man who could have married me. Because of how demanding my job is, it’s not easy combining it with family duties. But my husband is so understanding. In fact, he’s unique. In addition to my Alaga work, I also run a jewellery and Aso-Oke store, and my office is quite a distance from my house. What this means is that I leave the house from Monday, and I don’t return home until Saturday. My husband holds down the house until I’m back. It helps that I have grown-up children and always make arrangements before leaving the house, but there’s just something about a man who supports your career no matter what you choose. My husband and I both started our careers as teachers until I decided to pursue this work full time. When I told him, he agreed. And ever since then his okay has been okay. I don’t know how many men can do that for a woman. 

SATURDAY:

I have an event today, so I’m up early to prepare. People ask me how I’m always in the mood to perform my duties. Maybe because they think it requires so much energy. I tell them that there’s no dull moment as long as it’s work. The only thing is that I don’t party outside of work. If I’m not with the mic at an event, it’s rare to catch me attending a party. I get fed up and pissed easily at parties. Even when I’m working, once I’m done with my duties, I’m out. I always want to retreat into my shell and go to either my house or the office. 

I know I can’t do this job forever and that’s why I’m planning for retirement. All these other businesses [Aso-Oke] are my retirement plan, God willing. When I look back at my life, I see that God has been able to do what us men can’t do through this job. At least I can say that through this job we’ve gotten houses, we’ve gotten cars, we’ve started a business and we’ve trained our children. I want to retire by the time I turn 60, 65. At least by then, my kids will have given me grandchildren. At that point, all I want to do is focus on my family. 

Check back every Tuesday by 9 am for more ���A Week In The Life ��� goodness, and if you would like to be featured or you know anyone who fits the profile, fill this

[donation]

Planning a wedding in 3 months.

No lives were lost in the process in this story but I was pretty close to murdering someone that morning. I initially wanted to make a dress but the wedding plans were everywhere. My registry marriage was on the 4th of October 2019 and my white wedding was meant to be in June of 2020 but our family wanted it in January so, I had just 3 months to plan the wedding and take care of everything.

Saying ���Yes��� to a rented wedding dress.

After sorting the drama of whether or not it would be a church wedding and what church, the next question was naturally, what dress would I wear? I went dress shopping with my mom, aunt, maid of honour and mother-in-law.油 They were particular about the dress because my mother-in-law is a bit religious and she had concerns about what people might say. So what this means is my titties won���t be making an appearance (sorry girls).油

My dress was meant to be custom made but I was feeling very lazy about doing follow up on the designer so I opted for a rented dress. I convinced myself with the lazy mantra of ���why spend money making a dress when you can just rent one?���油

I still stare at wedding dresses in lust.

We went dress shopping and eventually, we decided on a dress. Definitely not my dream dress cause I still catch myself staring at wedding dresses. It was a beautiful dress and everyone loved it but it wasn���t my favourite. You know when people repeatedly tell you something is beautiful or perfect until you just find yourself agreeing with them. I didn���t hate the dress, I just didn���t LOVE it. 

They fucked up the pick-up date.

The dress was agreed on, booked and paid for. It was supposed to be delivered on a certain date but they called to ask us to pick up the dress on an earlier date because they were closing for Christmas. On the agreed date, my mother-in-law and I attended a wedding together before going to pick up the dress. Only for them to tell us it was a wrong date we should come back the following week on Thursday. This was strange because they were the ones who fixed the pick-up date. Plus, It wasn’t doable because Thursday was my traditional wedding.

There was a lot of back and forth until my mother-in-law volunteered to pick up the dress for me when she comes for the trad.

I forgot about my wedding dress.

Fast forward to my traditional wedding and I totally forget about my wedding dress because I���m busy with trad stuff. My mother-in-law had to remind me about it. My white wedding was meant to be two days after the traditional wedding and the agreement was trad in my state and white wedding in my husband’s state. So on the day after the trad, my mother-in-law came bearing bad news.

The omoest omo don happen.

See, I think she told my mom or something because no one said a word to me, maybe because they didn���t want to stress me. The bad news is, my wedding dress was delivered with a burnt black patch on my train. WHAT? WHATTTT?

The dress was delivered in a garment bag but my mother-in-law insisted on seeing the dress over. That was when she noticed the big, black, burnt patch.油

WHAT HAPPENED TO MY WEDDING DRESS?

The person who delivered it was just as dumbfounded as we were. The store had closed for Christmas but they had someone deliver the dress to us. She didn���t even work with them, she was doing a friend a favour. 

Apparently, the last bride before me, the train got caught in a sparkler and that was how it burnt.

The dress was huge and so it had to be fixed, the burnt bit. So, here I was, the day before my wedding waiting for my dress to be redone.油 They fixed the back, got another fabric on it but it was just wrinkled and the colour seemed off. Honestly, it didn���t look like the dress I tried on in their store anymore.油

I almost wore my reception dress with a veil for my white wedding.油

We almost went dress shopping in the morning but the refund we got wasn���t enough to rent another dress. I started threatening to wear my reception dress with a veil to the church. They fixed the dress as much as they could and I was just like, fuck it, it���s fine but inner me knew I was just managing it. The plan was to wear the dress for a few hours and just take it off as soon as I could.油

Word of Advice to Young brides

Get a planner! I had one and she made sure I actually had a good time at the wedding.
Not getting your dream dress is not the end of the world (although I���m still trying to convince myself to let go of the idea).
Many things will go wrong, don���t come and kill yourself just have fun or get through the day without hurting anyone.

Recommended: What She Said: What We Hate About Being Married.